So after the first two elimination episodes we're finally into the formulaic episodes of in house that have the steady diet of fighter antics in the house, training montage, fighter interviews where both of them guarantee a victory followed by a bizarre semi-amateur fight that makes you wonder, "Forrest Griffin and Rashad Evens seriously came out of this?"
There's no point in giving a blow by blow recap of the episode since I am sure if you are actually reading into this second paragraph you've already watched it, so I am just going to offer my random non-sequiturs about the episode.
First off, is it just me or is the best part of the opening Mike Rowe? To me he's a younger, whiter version of Morgan Freeman in the commentating game. His voice over is leaps and bounds better than the rap/rock/shit theme song that has been driven into the ground over the last umpteen seasons.
Last episode happened to leave off with standard "Next time on the Ultimate Fighter" footage of Rob Browning in the house looking like an asshole in the house. PSYCH! Browning is in the house acting like a drunken asshole, but only because team USA hasn't determined the last two slots allowing for the KY native to run roughshod for at least one night. Anyone out there though who thinks everyone in Kentucky is an asshole needs to pump the breaks though. Not only is Colonel Sanders apparently from there, I have to say that in my business jerk travels Covington Kentucky is a great little place.; it's just over the Ohio river from Cincinnati and way cheaper and funner than Rich Franklin's favourite place on earth. Besides, it's the only place on earth I've been where you can buy a pack of smokes, a beer for under 5 dollars and consume them both at the end of the bar.
So all the fighters decided to get together and lay down some ground rules for the house before the season gets too deep. Not a bad idea after last season where multiple bodily fluids were consumed by unsuspecting people. Understandably so, the first rule is "no jizz on food". Words to live by my friends, words to live by.
Finally the training montage portion of the show kicks in and we're treated to Dan Henderson's expert advice of "grab a partner and pummel around a little bit". If that's the key to success I am surprised we don't see more popped collared frat cunnies winning in the UFC.
Bisping tells the team that they are going to focus on wrestling since in the UK it's almost non-existent. I tend to agree with this, after being a local drunk in a pub here I've crossed a few limeys in my alcoholic journey. Anytime that I've brought up wrestling to them they seem to furrow their brow and find it weird and sort of homoerotic. Which is funny because that is almost my identical reaction to soccer. Still, there's no doubt about it, the best way to start out in the UFC seems to have a strong wrestling base, going further though, you'll have to evolve. I mean, look at Josh Koschek or Rashad Evans as perfect examples of this.
So finally Bisping shows up and we learn he was absent from the USA elimination episode due to visa issues. Wow, apparently the US is serious about keeping the immigrants from taking their jerbs! Seriously, Zuffa couldn't have helped him out on this? My pseudo brother in law lived in the US for 13 years with no visa, it's really not that tough.
After Bisping finally/legally showed up though, I started to think he looks like Jason Statham. Is it racist if I think all white dudes with shaved heads look alike?
Finally the fight portion comes up. First up was Kiel "tramp stamp" Reid vs. Frank "sort of look like Quentin Tarintino" Lester. Pretty uninspired fist bit of the fight, but Reid surely lives up to his Iowa Miletich pedigree. The fight ends on a take down attempt by Reid where he successfully slams Lester's back into the mat half as hard as he does his skull... promptly knocking himself out. Steve Mazzagatti can't tell he's out so the fight continues with Lester "the molester" putting on the kimura from hell on an unconscious victim, surely breaking his arm. Finally the Mazza-ball has had enough limbs snapping and calls it. Frank Lester is in the house.
The other fight features Jason "UFC castaway" Dent vs. Rob "the Little" Browning. Fight was pretty predictable with the feeling out phase followed by the Dent making mashed potatoes out of Browning's ribs with his knee phase. I think everyone knew that Browning was done in this one given he wasn't even invited to the main group for the show. Then again, some major fighters have been alternates in the past. Still though, I haven't seen body shots like that since GSP vs. Matt Serra II.
All and all it was nice to have two fights, but I can't help but sort of feel it's getting a bit stale. I am hoping that the announcers are right this year that this is "the most exciting season ever". I mean, eventually it has to be true if they keep saying it right?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I've Got Blades of Steel, and Some Tall Boys
Man, don't you hate when you have an unquenchable thirst for some glorious Busch tall boys (possibly the best drunkenness for the dollar out there) and the only thing the sissy British Columbia Liquor store only stocks these fuckers in tall boy form in the fridge? Being a man who enjoys his beer in pint or tall boy form exclusively, I was forced to buy them since the new episode of the Ultimate Fighter on tonight and I've not a drop of booze in the gaff but that doesn't mean I won't still tell the BCL to s my c.
Besides TUF being on tonight I needed the hooch since that special time of year (if you live in Canada or the northern US) starts today: the NHL playoffs. Being a Leafs fan at heart but living deep behind enemy lines in downtown Vancouver I've had to do what any self respecting person, who roots for a shitty team, does in my position, namely jump on the local bandwagon when they make the playoffs. Plus, I can always use another reason to get weekday drunk and rowdy.
I have always thought the NHL and MMA to share some sort of kinship since they both seem to be among the more misunderstood and under appreciated sports out there. Also, I have always wondered if any of the NHL heavyweights out there ever train in MMA in the off season to improve their craft on the ice. I mean, I know that athletes in other sports do it.
So after a quick search on the series of tubes that is the internet it turns out that some hockey guys indeed do train in MMA in the off season to help them continue their careers of unleashing donkey kong like beatings on people.
One interesting quote in the article comes from Blue Jacket Jared Boll, "I can't believe how good of shape those guys have to be in, I'm completely gassed after throwing them for 30 seconds on the ice. And look how long some of those fights go." Obviously a man who hasn't seen the absolutely pitiful performance last time out by Shogun. [ed. note I know Mark Coleman was in that fight as well and just as gassed, but he's a fucking legend who's 44 and apparently didn't have a training camp beforehand]. That's alright though, Shogun's only up to two strikes so far and has one more shot this Saturday vs. Chuck to redeem himself.
The other thing out of the article that I thought was pretty rad was that apparently Georges Laraque is good friends with GSP. The thought of hanging out with them some night at a strip club in Montreal is almost enough motivation to make me want to learn French.
Besides, there's no way you can't think there isn't sort of common bond between NHL and MMA when this amazing gem is for sale out there. My life won't be complete until I get that bastard for my desk at work.
Besides TUF being on tonight I needed the hooch since that special time of year (if you live in Canada or the northern US) starts today: the NHL playoffs. Being a Leafs fan at heart but living deep behind enemy lines in downtown Vancouver I've had to do what any self respecting person, who roots for a shitty team, does in my position, namely jump on the local bandwagon when they make the playoffs. Plus, I can always use another reason to get weekday drunk and rowdy.
I have always thought the NHL and MMA to share some sort of kinship since they both seem to be among the more misunderstood and under appreciated sports out there. Also, I have always wondered if any of the NHL heavyweights out there ever train in MMA in the off season to improve their craft on the ice. I mean, I know that athletes in other sports do it.
So after a quick search on the series of tubes that is the internet it turns out that some hockey guys indeed do train in MMA in the off season to help them continue their careers of unleashing donkey kong like beatings on people.
One interesting quote in the article comes from Blue Jacket Jared Boll, "I can't believe how good of shape those guys have to be in, I'm completely gassed after throwing them for 30 seconds on the ice. And look how long some of those fights go." Obviously a man who hasn't seen the absolutely pitiful performance last time out by Shogun. [ed. note I know Mark Coleman was in that fight as well and just as gassed, but he's a fucking legend who's 44 and apparently didn't have a training camp beforehand]. That's alright though, Shogun's only up to two strikes so far and has one more shot this Saturday vs. Chuck to redeem himself.
The other thing out of the article that I thought was pretty rad was that apparently Georges Laraque is good friends with GSP. The thought of hanging out with them some night at a strip club in Montreal is almost enough motivation to make me want to learn French.
Besides, there's no way you can't think there isn't sort of common bond between NHL and MMA when this amazing gem is for sale out there. My life won't be complete until I get that bastard for my desk at work.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
UFC Fight Night: Condit vs. Kampmann Live Blerg
5pm PT - Fuck, I am barely done dinner and the fights are starting. Can't we throw the West Coast a bone once and a while and not start things so goddamned early that I have to ditch work an hour early? No?, well fuck you then, I am glad we are hosting the 2010 games and you have to s our c when it comes to event start times. Anyhow, the ufc does the honourable. thing and dedicates tonight's fights to Mask. (PS, if anyone asks for the next hour I am at my desk).
5:02 - Is it just me or do you think with the tens (hundreds?) of thousands that Joe Rogan makes he could afford a blazer? Just saying... Man, that's some uncomfortable eye contact between Goldberg and Rogan. Jesus Mike, that's more intense than the Miller/Browning weigh in scuffle yesterday.
5:08 - Re: Browning and Miller, "Two of the best lightweights to come out of TUF"? Goldberg, somewhere out there you've made KeFlo, and the Nightmare roll their eyes in disgust... oh and also the guys who, you know, actually won the show and got lightweight contracts.
5:12 - Say what you will about commercials they sure do make mixing drinks a fuck of a lot easier.
5:15 - Huh, lots of grappling off the bell, for some reason I really anticipated this fight to be standing the whole time. Though it doesn't look like Junie is really advancing his position, I think that they'll not disappoint and will be back up soon.
5:17, oh shit, that's a deep guillotine. Fuck, Junie taps. So much for the standing battle.
COLE MILLER DEF. JUNIE BROWNING RD 1. VIA GUILLOTINE CHOKE
5:18 - What's with the brown belt being thrown over Miller's shoulders? I could understand if it was a promotion in belts or if it was a black belt. Perhaps its the other kind of brown belt he is wearing, you know, to imply what he just did to Browning?
5:22 - Is the new thing to do call out who you want to fight next when you win? I get when someone calls out the champ but it seems like a lot of lower rung guys are getting into the mix. I guess it's taking control of your fate but still, seems sort of unnecessary to me when you are calling out the middle of the pack.
5:27 - Oh snap, sportsnet .ca is also broadcasting this, just with less obnoxious commercials ruining Anarchy in the UK for me and sports highlights during the breaks. Thanks Uncle Ted (Rodgers), god rest your smutty soul.
5:33 - Is Griffin using Eye of the Tiger for his entrance song as joke? Did he lose a bet? Is he honestly that cliche? I mean, even Rocky didn't use it as his goddamn entrance song.
5:36 - Anyone else think that it's sort of weird that one of Griffin's sponsors is Volkswagon? If I were I fighter I'd definitely take lesk money to have them rather than "Condom Depot" on my ass. You can't put a price on dignity, or non-gayness.
5:37 - Whoa, Griffin rocks him like a hurricane and starts in on the ground and pound. Aww man, Griffin always end up in the weird positions when he's scrambling... like a North South, or as non fight fans call it, "an all male 69". Wait, WFT is this hold that Dos Anjos has? A leg kimoura? Jesus,
5:40 - End of rd. 1. I think that hot leg on leg hold that Dos Anjos had on Griffin took some spring out of his step but all in all I think no worse for wear really. I give the round 10-9 Griffin for the simple fact he seemed more aggressive and delivered slightly more damage (visible damage at least).
5:42 - Start of rd. 2, Dos Anjos rocks Griffin who weathers it and delivers a nice little "accidental" ball kick back for Dos Anjos' trouble. Also Goldberg tells us Dos Anjos means "from angels", which is ironic I think, since the whole San Diego translates to "a whale's vagina" was based on his Spanish prowess.
5:45 - Griffin seems to have settled down and is even looking better, still throwing some punches in bunches and looks like he is the aggressor. Pretty important when you consider he goes to the scorecards every fucking fight.
5:46 - End of rd. 2, even in spite of the big shot Dos Anjos delivered I give the round 10-9 Griffin based on the aggression and landing more shots.
5:48 - Start of rd. 3, Griffin takes the centre of the octagon, I'll give the little guy credit, he always seems to be working hard.
5:50 - Man, nice inside leg kicks by Griffin. I don't think I would like those, party because they would hurt but also party because they are waaay to close to my ballsack.
5:52 - Well Rogan has shown his colours and said Griffin does what a winner has to do. I agree, he seems to have the style to score points. Though, not like Clay "I'll hold the living daylights out of you" Guida, in a non-pascifist sort of way.
5:53 - End of rd 3. Tough round to call. Personally I like'd Griffin slightly more in it and would give him the 10 -9 but it's tough to call. I figure it'll be a unanimous decision for Griffin, 30-27, 29-28, 29-28
GRIFFIN DEF. DOS ANJOS VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION (30-27,30-27,30-27)
5:57 - Huh, maybe I am so used to shitty judging that I am starting to consider it the norm, all three judges score it the same as me. Maybe I should tell my boss down at the cracker factor to go home, lay down, take 20-30 minutes and then go fuck himself and become a ufc judge. At least I couldn't be any worse than some of the ones out there. *COUGH* Hamil v. Bisping *COUGH*
6:00 - Man, pounding double vodka sodas for the last hour and change is starting to make my brain all tingly. This live blerg thing really does push the pace for my drinking since I have to down them during commercials to get up and make more.
6:06 - Up next, Ryan Bader vs. Carmello Marrero. I may be biased because he's friends with C.B. "the Cunny" Dolloway, but for some reason Ryan Bader sort of annoys me. For Christ sake his nick name is based off of Star Wars, and it's NOT even based on Lando "smooth as fuck" Calrision.
6:10 - GAAAAAY! I thought Eye of the Tiger was bad for an entrance song, but the fucking Star Wars theme? Jesus fucking christ, we get it your name sort of sounds like Darth Vader if he were named Ryan Vader, but c'mon.
6:12 - rd 1. Bader's wrassling seems to be serving him well, he's definitely holding that guy down and throwing no punches.
6:15 - Well, so far this definitely isn't in the running for fight of the night, but I will give it to Gayder (ha, see what I did there?) that he is passing guard at will and scoring take downs. I guess if this were football you could say he's a really great "fight manager".
6:17 - End of rd. 1. Almost zero damage done, 1 failed arm bar attempt, but Gayder definitely is taking 10 points back to the corner with him. 10-9 Bader.
6:20 - Gayder, you're not helping your case on being an extremely boring fighter here. As a side note while I have time while this collegiate wrasslin' match goes on, tonight's fights are in Nashville and I know a dude who goes to Vanderbilt, I had a chance to go down with the boys and get drunk, see a Leafs game and possibly see some titties a couple of years back and I didn't for a broad. I still regret that to this day. Don't ever miss something like that for a broad, for serious.
6:21 - Uh oh, here comes the boo birds. Frankly I don't blame them, ufc fans hate when they see this display of wrestling, it sort of reminds everyone that it can be kind of gay when there's no punching or kicking. No one wants to be reminded of that.
6:24 - End of rd. 2, as tough as it is, 10-9 Bader on my card.
6:25 - Start of rd. 3, did you know that "this season of the Ultimate Fighter is the craziest ever", at least that's what the announcers paid by the UFC are telling me. You should probably check it out. Though, I will admit having all the British fighters could be hilarious since the production crew might not know to bleep out the UK swears, like minge.
6:27 - Ref stands them up... with 1:40 left in the fight? I guess it's his CYA move?
6:30 - end of rd 3. sigh, 10-9 Bader. He should be taking this 30-27 on all judges cards. I also predict he apologizes in the post fight interview for the wrasslin'.
RYAN "GAYDER" BADER WINS VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION (30-27,30-27,30-27)
6:33 - First thing's first, I am a huge Chuck Lidell fan, I take nothing away from him and his amazing reign as LHW Champion in the UFC. So with that said, his interviews are so high on the unintentional comedy scale is immeasurable. This remote interview between him and Rogan is awesome, Rogan's instantaneous responses to Chuck speaking and the 6-7 second delay for Chuck to process the words and respond is amazing. If you want to see his HoF interview though hit up this
6:41 - Up next Condit vs. Kampmann. Personally I don't see how Condit loses this fight; he's sort of a beast and a much needed scary dude in the welterweight division that right now I believe is a little thin given how amazing GSP is.
6:44 - huh, Kampmann beat Thales Lietes in 2006? Wow, I didn't think it was possible but now I think Lietes has even less of a chance against Anderson Silva in Montreal. Well, I suppose he still has the possiblity of not dying. That's something right?
6:50 - start of rd. 1, Kampmann surprisingly has a tight like a tiger guillotine. I don't think this will work on Condit, but at least he won't look like a pussy when he gets beat. Plus he can always say he sort of gassed holding it.
6:52 - Shit, Condit has "condom depot" as a sponsor on his ass. Don't tell him I made fun of that.
6:54 - Condit bloodies Kampmann with a huge standing right to a downed target that "didn't connect" according to Golberg. Seriously Dana, I am available for commentating if you decide to go for competant, observant people.
6:55 - end of rd. 1 tough to see how the judges will call this, do submission attempts mean more than submission escapes? There's no hard fast rule in my mind but overall I give the round 10-9 Condit, that huge right and the knee are worth more than a failed guillotine and failed heel hook attempt.
6:58 - Man, I love when dudes throw the standing elbows, so as a connoisseur I just loved the quick one that Condit threw. OH SNAP!, Condit with a beauty of a straight front kick to Kampmann's face. Things are starting to roll for Condit.
7:00 - "One minute remains in our main event" -- Mike Goldberg (4:00 rd. 2). Either he's fucking psychic or fucking retarded, you be the judge.
7:01 - End of rd. 2, I'd give it to Condit here again thanks to the crisp striking and delivering more damage. 10-9 Condit.
7:05 - rd 3. Shit, Kampmann is actually holding top position and delivering some nice shots that Condit, always the wily veteran, is blocking with his face.
7:07 - Fuck me in the goat ass, Kampmann has made this fight pretty interesting. Maybe Marmaduke isn't the toughest Dane anymore.
7:08 - end of rd. 3, no doubt about it, Kampmann takes that on 10-9 Kampmann. On my unofficial but logical card I have the fight 29-28 Condit. I am going to say spit decision 29-28,29-28,28-29 Condit from the paid judges (notice I didn't say pro).
7:10 - bonus prediction: Condit vs. Kampmann is Fight of the night, Cole Miller is submission of the night, and I predict at least 50% accuracy on that.
KAMPMAN DEF. CONDIT VIA SPLIT DECISION (29-28,29-28,28-29)
7:12 - Wow, so that's sort of surprising, apparently there's still tons of value placed on top position in the scoring, which is sort of too bad, that second round I gave to Condit in spite of the fact Kampmann had top position for most of the round because he wasn't doing anything with it. The Tennessee crowd is booing and Condit bolted from the ring like a fucking gazelle, so needless to say, I am not alone in being surprised about this decision. Too bad, I think that Condit is a great, young (24 yrs old) fighter that is destin for some big things. I am sure he'll be back. Well, that's it for UFC fight night, we had some drinks and watched 4 fights, overall pretty lackluster overall but entertaining non the less. Besides it was fucking free you complaining cheapskate.
kbye,
Jay
5:02 - Is it just me or do you think with the tens (hundreds?) of thousands that Joe Rogan makes he could afford a blazer? Just saying... Man, that's some uncomfortable eye contact between Goldberg and Rogan. Jesus Mike, that's more intense than the Miller/Browning weigh in scuffle yesterday.
5:08 - Re: Browning and Miller, "Two of the best lightweights to come out of TUF"? Goldberg, somewhere out there you've made KeFlo, and the Nightmare roll their eyes in disgust... oh and also the guys who, you know, actually won the show and got lightweight contracts.
5:12 - Say what you will about commercials they sure do make mixing drinks a fuck of a lot easier.
5:15 - Huh, lots of grappling off the bell, for some reason I really anticipated this fight to be standing the whole time. Though it doesn't look like Junie is really advancing his position, I think that they'll not disappoint and will be back up soon.
5:17, oh shit, that's a deep guillotine. Fuck, Junie taps. So much for the standing battle.
COLE MILLER DEF. JUNIE BROWNING RD 1. VIA GUILLOTINE CHOKE
5:18 - What's with the brown belt being thrown over Miller's shoulders? I could understand if it was a promotion in belts or if it was a black belt. Perhaps its the other kind of brown belt he is wearing, you know, to imply what he just did to Browning?
5:22 - Is the new thing to do call out who you want to fight next when you win? I get when someone calls out the champ but it seems like a lot of lower rung guys are getting into the mix. I guess it's taking control of your fate but still, seems sort of unnecessary to me when you are calling out the middle of the pack.
5:27 - Oh snap, sportsnet .ca is also broadcasting this, just with less obnoxious commercials ruining Anarchy in the UK for me and sports highlights during the breaks. Thanks Uncle Ted (Rodgers), god rest your smutty soul.
5:33 - Is Griffin using Eye of the Tiger for his entrance song as joke? Did he lose a bet? Is he honestly that cliche? I mean, even Rocky didn't use it as his goddamn entrance song.
5:36 - Anyone else think that it's sort of weird that one of Griffin's sponsors is Volkswagon? If I were I fighter I'd definitely take lesk money to have them rather than "Condom Depot" on my ass. You can't put a price on dignity, or non-gayness.
5:37 - Whoa, Griffin rocks him like a hurricane and starts in on the ground and pound. Aww man, Griffin always end up in the weird positions when he's scrambling... like a North South, or as non fight fans call it, "an all male 69". Wait, WFT is this hold that Dos Anjos has? A leg kimoura? Jesus,
5:40 - End of rd. 1. I think that hot leg on leg hold that Dos Anjos had on Griffin took some spring out of his step but all in all I think no worse for wear really. I give the round 10-9 Griffin for the simple fact he seemed more aggressive and delivered slightly more damage (visible damage at least).
5:42 - Start of rd. 2, Dos Anjos rocks Griffin who weathers it and delivers a nice little "accidental" ball kick back for Dos Anjos' trouble. Also Goldberg tells us Dos Anjos means "from angels", which is ironic I think, since the whole San Diego translates to "a whale's vagina" was based on his Spanish prowess.
5:45 - Griffin seems to have settled down and is even looking better, still throwing some punches in bunches and looks like he is the aggressor. Pretty important when you consider he goes to the scorecards every fucking fight.
5:46 - End of rd. 2, even in spite of the big shot Dos Anjos delivered I give the round 10-9 Griffin based on the aggression and landing more shots.
5:48 - Start of rd. 3, Griffin takes the centre of the octagon, I'll give the little guy credit, he always seems to be working hard.
5:50 - Man, nice inside leg kicks by Griffin. I don't think I would like those, party because they would hurt but also party because they are waaay to close to my ballsack.
5:52 - Well Rogan has shown his colours and said Griffin does what a winner has to do. I agree, he seems to have the style to score points. Though, not like Clay "I'll hold the living daylights out of you" Guida, in a non-pascifist sort of way.
5:53 - End of rd 3. Tough round to call. Personally I like'd Griffin slightly more in it and would give him the 10 -9 but it's tough to call. I figure it'll be a unanimous decision for Griffin, 30-27, 29-28, 29-28
GRIFFIN DEF. DOS ANJOS VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION (30-27,30-27,30-27)
5:57 - Huh, maybe I am so used to shitty judging that I am starting to consider it the norm, all three judges score it the same as me. Maybe I should tell my boss down at the cracker factor to go home, lay down, take 20-30 minutes and then go fuck himself and become a ufc judge. At least I couldn't be any worse than some of the ones out there. *COUGH* Hamil v. Bisping *COUGH*
6:00 - Man, pounding double vodka sodas for the last hour and change is starting to make my brain all tingly. This live blerg thing really does push the pace for my drinking since I have to down them during commercials to get up and make more.
6:06 - Up next, Ryan Bader vs. Carmello Marrero. I may be biased because he's friends with C.B. "the Cunny" Dolloway, but for some reason Ryan Bader sort of annoys me. For Christ sake his nick name is based off of Star Wars, and it's NOT even based on Lando "smooth as fuck" Calrision.
6:10 - GAAAAAY! I thought Eye of the Tiger was bad for an entrance song, but the fucking Star Wars theme? Jesus fucking christ, we get it your name sort of sounds like Darth Vader if he were named Ryan Vader, but c'mon.
6:12 - rd 1. Bader's wrassling seems to be serving him well, he's definitely holding that guy down and throwing no punches.
6:15 - Well, so far this definitely isn't in the running for fight of the night, but I will give it to Gayder (ha, see what I did there?) that he is passing guard at will and scoring take downs. I guess if this were football you could say he's a really great "fight manager".
6:17 - End of rd. 1. Almost zero damage done, 1 failed arm bar attempt, but Gayder definitely is taking 10 points back to the corner with him. 10-9 Bader.
6:20 - Gayder, you're not helping your case on being an extremely boring fighter here. As a side note while I have time while this collegiate wrasslin' match goes on, tonight's fights are in Nashville and I know a dude who goes to Vanderbilt, I had a chance to go down with the boys and get drunk, see a Leafs game and possibly see some titties a couple of years back and I didn't for a broad. I still regret that to this day. Don't ever miss something like that for a broad, for serious.
6:21 - Uh oh, here comes the boo birds. Frankly I don't blame them, ufc fans hate when they see this display of wrestling, it sort of reminds everyone that it can be kind of gay when there's no punching or kicking. No one wants to be reminded of that.
6:24 - End of rd. 2, as tough as it is, 10-9 Bader on my card.
6:25 - Start of rd. 3, did you know that "this season of the Ultimate Fighter is the craziest ever", at least that's what the announcers paid by the UFC are telling me. You should probably check it out. Though, I will admit having all the British fighters could be hilarious since the production crew might not know to bleep out the UK swears, like minge.
6:27 - Ref stands them up... with 1:40 left in the fight? I guess it's his CYA move?
6:30 - end of rd 3. sigh, 10-9 Bader. He should be taking this 30-27 on all judges cards. I also predict he apologizes in the post fight interview for the wrasslin'.
RYAN "GAYDER" BADER WINS VIA UNANIMOUS DECISION (30-27,30-27,30-27)
6:33 - First thing's first, I am a huge Chuck Lidell fan, I take nothing away from him and his amazing reign as LHW Champion in the UFC. So with that said, his interviews are so high on the unintentional comedy scale is immeasurable. This remote interview between him and Rogan is awesome, Rogan's instantaneous responses to Chuck speaking and the 6-7 second delay for Chuck to process the words and respond is amazing. If you want to see his HoF interview though hit up this
6:41 - Up next Condit vs. Kampmann. Personally I don't see how Condit loses this fight; he's sort of a beast and a much needed scary dude in the welterweight division that right now I believe is a little thin given how amazing GSP is.
6:44 - huh, Kampmann beat Thales Lietes in 2006? Wow, I didn't think it was possible but now I think Lietes has even less of a chance against Anderson Silva in Montreal. Well, I suppose he still has the possiblity of not dying. That's something right?
6:50 - start of rd. 1, Kampmann surprisingly has a tight like a tiger guillotine. I don't think this will work on Condit, but at least he won't look like a pussy when he gets beat. Plus he can always say he sort of gassed holding it.
6:52 - Shit, Condit has "condom depot" as a sponsor on his ass. Don't tell him I made fun of that.
6:54 - Condit bloodies Kampmann with a huge standing right to a downed target that "didn't connect" according to Golberg. Seriously Dana, I am available for commentating if you decide to go for competant, observant people.
6:55 - end of rd. 1 tough to see how the judges will call this, do submission attempts mean more than submission escapes? There's no hard fast rule in my mind but overall I give the round 10-9 Condit, that huge right and the knee are worth more than a failed guillotine and failed heel hook attempt.
6:58 - Man, I love when dudes throw the standing elbows, so as a connoisseur I just loved the quick one that Condit threw. OH SNAP!, Condit with a beauty of a straight front kick to Kampmann's face. Things are starting to roll for Condit.
7:00 - "One minute remains in our main event" -- Mike Goldberg (4:00 rd. 2). Either he's fucking psychic or fucking retarded, you be the judge.
7:01 - End of rd. 2, I'd give it to Condit here again thanks to the crisp striking and delivering more damage. 10-9 Condit.
7:05 - rd 3. Shit, Kampmann is actually holding top position and delivering some nice shots that Condit, always the wily veteran, is blocking with his face.
7:07 - Fuck me in the goat ass, Kampmann has made this fight pretty interesting. Maybe Marmaduke isn't the toughest Dane anymore.
7:08 - end of rd. 3, no doubt about it, Kampmann takes that on 10-9 Kampmann. On my unofficial but logical card I have the fight 29-28 Condit. I am going to say spit decision 29-28,29-28,28-29 Condit from the paid judges (notice I didn't say pro).
7:10 - bonus prediction: Condit vs. Kampmann is Fight of the night, Cole Miller is submission of the night, and I predict at least 50% accuracy on that.
KAMPMAN DEF. CONDIT VIA SPLIT DECISION (29-28,29-28,28-29)
7:12 - Wow, so that's sort of surprising, apparently there's still tons of value placed on top position in the scoring, which is sort of too bad, that second round I gave to Condit in spite of the fact Kampmann had top position for most of the round because he wasn't doing anything with it. The Tennessee crowd is booing and Condit bolted from the ring like a fucking gazelle, so needless to say, I am not alone in being surprised about this decision. Too bad, I think that Condit is a great, young (24 yrs old) fighter that is destin for some big things. I am sure he'll be back. Well, that's it for UFC fight night, we had some drinks and watched 4 fights, overall pretty lackluster overall but entertaining non the less. Besides it was fucking free you complaining cheapskate.
kbye,
Jay
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